Bringing in Somatic Work To Aid You In Your Dating Life

Chances are, if you are single and dating in this digital age, you have accumulated a variety of dating experiences, both good and bad. You have felt the deep sadness and heartbreak when a promising relationship ended, or the nervous sensation in your stomach as you waited for your first date.

All of these experiences (and the accompanying sensations, memories, thoughts, beliefs and emotions that are tied to these experiences) are stored in your body. Subconsciously, these stored experiences and beliefs are impacting the way you show up in the world, the way in which you hold your posture, breathe, move, and engage with others.

Despite the rationale part of your thinking brain that tells you what you’ll do, feel and think moving forward, the truth is that dating and the pursuit of your person is a complex, messy, nuanced and emotionally charged experience.

Many of us have the best intentions with dating. This time, it’ll be different! I’ve learned so much from my past relationships and I’ll know how to date better in the future so that I won’t get hurt again. We tell ourselves so many things so that we can have some control over the future.

But dating is messy. It is unpredictable. The best thing we can do is care for ourselves throughout the process, release negatively stored dating thoughts, patterns and beliefs so that they don’t carry into our future, and develop resiliency throughout the dating process.

As an IWA trained Integrative Somatic Practitioner, I have the skills, tools and knowledge to help people to integrate somatic work into their dating lives, in order to find relief within dating, but also to navigate dating more intentionally which in my opinion, is what ultimately leads to a fulfilling and sustainable life partner.

There are a handful of somatic practices and tools that can improve your dating experience. Below I share a few:

Releasing stuck/negative stored thoughts, beliefs and emotions from the body - spend a few minutes shaking every part of your body. As you are shaking, visualize and even say out loud what you are shaking/releasing: I am releasing self-doubt, resentment, fear, jealousy, etc.
Tapping and re-integrating - now, spend a few minutes tapping throughout the body with your fingers while saying out loud things you want to call in: I welcome in love, abundance, hope, confidence, my person, etc.
When you find yourself feeling or thinking doubtful, anxious or fearful thoughts - pause, ground yourself with a few deep breaths, and tune into your body’s sensations. See if you can feel where you feel the doubtful, anxious or fearful thoughts in your body. Sit with it, allow it to be, and send some deep breaths to those spots to give it some space.

Over time, as you continue to bring in somatic awareness and work into your dating life, you’ll start to see and feel things a bit differently. Eventually, you’ll notice yourself become lighter, more optimistic, and more grounded throughout the dating process.

If you would like more information on dating intentionally so that you can finally meet your person, you can grab the guide right here.